I Loved You All Along
by Ionuin Anam Cara
Summary: All Human/Some OOC/AU Bella grew up in Forks with the Cullens until her parent's divorce took her away. When she returns, a different person, she finds that the her best friends have changed as well. ExB, duh! M for Language and future Lemons
1. Nothing Good About Goodbye

Title: **I Loved You All Along**  
Category: Books » Twilight  
Author: Ionuin Anam Cara  
Language: English, Rating: Rated: M  
Genre: Drama/Romance  
Published: 10-16-08, Updated: 05-08-10  
Chapters: 10, Words: 15,878

**Chapter 1: Nothing Good About Goodbye**

Title: **I Loved You All Along**

Author: Ionuin Anam Cara

Summary: All Human/Some OOC/AU Bella grew up in Forks with the Cullens until her parent's divorce took her away. When she returns, a different person, she finds that the her best friends have changed as well. (Title after the song 4a.m. by Our Lady Peace)

Rating: M for future lemons, and any other possible twist I might come up with to throw in :)

Pairings: overall traditional pairings, but brief interludes of others along the way (Don't worry! Edward and Bella will find each other eventually!)

Disclaimer: Stephenie Myer and associates own all Twilight characters/etc. I just want to play with them for a while and give them something new to do :)

* * *

Chapter 1: Nothing Good About Goodbye

(EPOV)

I listened as she quietly climbed in the window, which I had left open for her as always, and tiptoed to my bed. Without a word I pulled back the covers so she could climb in under them. She laid down and I pulled her close. We never spoke when this happened, and it happened quite often. I would just hold her tight and in the safety of my arms she could finally sleep.

Isabella Marie Swan was my best friend. We'd known each other since we were 2, when my twin sister, Alice, took pity on the shy little girl in the sandbox and invited her over. The three of us had been inseparable since.

Marie was the daughter of the Forks' chief of police, Charlie, and his wife Renee. It was at Charlie's insistence that she be called Marie, despite Renee's arguments that her daughter should stand out from the small town and that Isabella was the perfect name for that. Renee hated Forks. She was only there because she had gotten pregnant and was forced to stay and marry Charlie. This made life at the Swan house very tense. On nights when she couldn't take it anymore, Marie would sneak out and climb into my window. Her parent's never even noticed she was gone.

School was also hostile towards my best friend. She wasn't special or rich or exceptionally pretty to the rest of the town, so they just tended to ignored her. She was smart and shy and generally didn't mind being on her own, but she was often teased and ridiculed for her glasses and hand me down clothing. In second grade she finally broke down and told me how much the other kids messed with her. I vowed then and there to make sure no one ever did it again. From that day, she never left my, nor Alice's, sides.

Fifth grade was hell, to say the least. By this point, the girls had started realizing that boys don't have cooties and the boys had started becoming perverts. The idea of popularity was of utmost importance and no one could compete with Lauren Mallory. She was pretty, rich and snobby- the key ingredients of middle school royalty. She wasn't so bad to most people, but she _hated_ Marie for reasons no one knew; though most people thought it was because she was jealous. Apparently I had all the makings of being the most popular boy (which I could really give two shits about) and I chose, instead, to spend my time with the 'ugly bookworm' as they described her. Her dishwater blonde hair and slight frame hadn't developed as quickly as most of the girls our age. Add that to the extreme clumsiness and Marie was pretty much a walking disaster of a female.

It didn't help that over the summer Renee and Charlie had argued so much that Marie practically lived at my house. On the last day of school, Marie came in with tear stained cheeks and puffy eyes. She wouldn't tell me anything, but Alice looked distraught when I met them for lunch break. We sat in silence till Marie looked over. "I'm leaving," she whispered. Then she got up and ran out of the cafeteria. Alice explained that her parents were getting a divorce and that Renee was leaving Forks and taking Marie with her.

That was the last I saw of my best friend. Renee had become fed up with everything to the point where she packed all of their belongings, picked Marie up early, and left without a word. I spent months trying to figure out how to contact her, but Alice and I never found a trace. She was gone.


	2. What I Need

Disclaimer: Stephenie Myer and associates own all Twilight characters/etc. I just want to play with them for a while and give them something new to do.

* * *

Chapter 2: So Hott

(BPOV)

_Seven years later._

Home. Dear Jesus it felt good to be back. As dreary as the constant rain and overcast made the Olympic Peninsula seem to the rest of the world, it was home to me. After being cruelly ripped from my home at the tender age of 11 by my shallow and selfish mother, and spending the last seven years at a finishing school in Los Angeles, I had finally freed myself to come home. Sometimes, as much as I hated to admit it, my mother's marriage to Phil was a blessing.

Renee. Where do I begin with her. Harebrained and shallow, she rarely cared about anything but her looks and her high society life. When she left my dad she wanted to rid me of all of the 'damaging effects of small town life'. Thus she enrolled me at a finishing school so I could get the best education money could buy. Totally awesome, right? Yeah, great! If you thought that the best education included how to apply make up, dress for any occasion and get any guy you wanted wrapped around your finger.

Classes were a joke at Brookshire Academy. They were merely a formality. Being fairly smart and liking school, BA was a friggin nightmare. But, being stubborn as I was, I made the most of it. I managed to get away with extra classes as well as learn all the ways of 'proper society'. I had dyed my hair a rich mahogany that had a red tint to it from the dishwater blonde that it had been before. My chocolate eyes were no longer hidden by glasses due to the lasik surgery that the school had coerced my mother into getting me. My teeth, which thankfully never needed braces, were perfectly white from bleaching treatments. My skin was a perfect pale color. Despite the urge to get the California golden glow, I just never felt right about it. I like my skin the way it is. All in all, maybe that damn place did me some good though. I guess I'll find out Monday, my first day back in Forks and the first day of senior year.

But tonight I will revel in my freedom. Before I show up on my father's step, probably shocking the hell out of him because he has NO idea that I'm coming, I'm spending the night in Seattle. BA was definitely good for something: fake ids and knowing how to look and act when using them.

I had scoped the city before I got there, and decided to try out Trinity. A club/bar/lounge that got amazing reviews. So here I am, getting ready for what may be the most fun I've had in my life before facing the biggest question mark my life will ever see.

I felt confident as I left my suite at 10 p.m. I had dressed in my favorite pleated leather mini skirt and dark green silk halter. My skin was shimmering from the light dusting of iridescent powder. My hair was in loose curls and my makeup consisted of dark smoky eyes, from black, silver, and pewter shadows, with a faint metallic green outline accentuating the almond shape of my dark eyes and a sheer pink tint to my lips. My eyelashes were sky high and expertly curled and painted. My 5' 4" frame was boosted a bit by the 4" black heels that I absolutely adored, and I knew made my legs look fabulous. I was ready to dance the night away.

I arrived at Trinity to find a long line to the door, much to my dismay. No matter. I checked my reflection in the storefront window and headed towards the bouncer, making sure he saw my hips sway and my breasts bounce as I sauntered up.

(EPOV)

Bored. That's what I was. Alice had insisted on spending our last Saturday night of the summer at a club in Seattle. It wasn't hard for her to convince me. I needed to get laid and it was a lot easier to pick up a one night stand in the city, especially when there was alcohol involved. Alice didn't need to know that, though I'm sure she has figured out my not so carefully concealed strategy when it came to women. Since we started high school I pretty much wanted nothing to do with the female species romantically. I partied like the rest of the mislead youth I matriculated with. I got a fake id when I was 15. I knew I was hot and just in case my looks didn't do enough, I made sure to dress only in what would have any female I wanted lusting after me.

Tonight was no exception. My black leather pants were custom fit to accentuate all the right places and the top buttons on my black silk dress shirt were left undone. My skin was incredibly pale and my bronze hair was completely untamable, though that just seemed to make me all the more desirable. Hell if I knew why, but I got what I wanted so I never really cared.

But no matter how well I knew that I could walk out of here with any girl I wanted, I just didn't seem to see one that made me consider it. It was still early, however; plenty of time to hunt.

From my VIP balcony view I could see the whole of the dance floor and the bar. I watched as my sister pushed away the men that tried to dance with her and smirked. Jasper, Alice's long time boyfriend of 4 years, was going to be sorry he missed this. Too bad he got stuck on his family vacation till tomorrow. I scanned the masses and found Emmett with his high school sweetheart, Rosalie, in a corner practically screwing on the dance floor. I smiled at seeing my best friends happiness.

Despite the music actually being good for a change, my good mood and patience were quickly disappearing. I needed a challenge and no girl here seemed capable of offering me one. The kill was always too easy. I would barely say hello and we'd be on the floor, grinding to a few songs before she would ask me to go back to her place. Sure, the sex was usually great, but tonight it was all about the chase. Something I was surprised to find myself caring about. For I, Edward Anthony Cullen, was anything but interested in working to get a girl. I never really had to and thus I never actually wanted to put in the effort. If she wasn't gonna take the bait, which has _never_ happened, then I figure I would just move on to the next fish.

So with my new desire to actually give chase, I began searching the crowd for someone who looked like they might actually resist me. It was nearing eleven and I had almost given up when I caught sight of a glowing dark haired beauty. I watched as she walked from the bar to the dance floor, her movements almost ethereal in their grace. Her hips swayed seductively and she never looked down, which boasted a confidence I was curious to see if she actually had. Her figure was stunning. She had perfectly formed hips and a narrow waist. Her breasts were full and her legs went on for miles from her tiny skirt ending with her feet in what Alice would describe as 'sex heels'- four inches high and designed to accentuate her perfect calves and thighs. Her fair skin was glowing and perfect, even under the changing lights of the club, and her dark locks hung freely half-way down her back in soft curls. I had seen all but her face, and I found myself anxiously awaiting her to turn around to see if it was as beautiful as the rest of her. The song changed and she turned her head.

I was on the stairs to the floor before my mind had time to register that my feet had even moved. She was drop dead gorgeous and I _wanted_ her.

(BPOV)

Laughable. It was completely insane how easy it was to charm the bouncer into letting me in. I heard the anger of the crowd as I slipped through the rope, winked at the bouncer, and entered the club.

Trinity was impressive to say the least. The lounge off to the left was filled with plush eclectic couches and chairs in deep purple and blue hues giving the room a comfortable, relaxed feel. Along the walls the seating looked more like pillow covered beds with a sheer curtaining around each one for privacy. The bar, on the right looked like it came straight out of a movie. The tower of liquor around a mirrored column made the light dance on the skin of the people around the bar. The dance floor was packed and despite the body heat, no one seemed to be sweating or uncomfortably hot. I decided to start with a drink.

Within a few seconds of sitting one of the bartenders, a cute blonde that looked like he spent all his free time on a beach far from here, had taken my order. I saw a sly smirk cross his face when I asked for a tequila sunrise. He obviously didn't think I could handle the drink. He placed my cocktail on the bar in front of me, and as he walked away I heard him singing 'Tequila Makes her Clothes Fall Off.' Sorry to disappoint him, but I knew how to handle my alcohol. I flirted with the guys who worked up the nerve (or were just overly cocky) to talk to me and accepted the drinks they offered, but refused to dance.

I had come here tonight with the purpose of taking someone home, I'll admit, but none of them made the cut. I didn't know exactly what the cut was considering it wasn't the first time I'd played this game and I usually didn't care who it ended up being, but I played along with my subconscious anyways. Maybe it would surprise me.

I'd been drinking slowly, but steadily for the past hour when I decided to make my way to the dance floor. I didn't need the alcohol and its liquid confidence to dance, but it loosened me up all the same. As I glided through the crowd I could feel someone's eyes on me heavily. I was used to it, yes, but this was a little different. I decided to put on a show for my mysterious admirer before I sought him out.

The music played and I let the beat wash through my body. My hips swayed in time to the music and I let my head fall back as my arms lifted into the air. I loved dancing. I continued my little act until the song ended. As it did I turned, took a breath and looked up towards the VIP balcony where I had felt the stare coming from. I was confused, however, when my eyes met empty space. I noticed then that the feeling was gone. Shrugging off my disappointment, I began to sway to the music once again. The song was slow and sensual, allowing me to draw out and exaggerate my movements. I lost myself in the rhythm.

I was quickly pulled out of my rhythmic sway when I felt a set of strong arms wrap around me, hands landing on my hips, and pulling me flush against the solid wall of a well muscled chest. I never allowed this behavior. Looking was fine, but never touching- at least not without permission. So I was shocked as my body pushed itself back, deeper into the dance with the stranger. The song changed and the mystery continued, our bodies adjusting to the new tempo seamlessly and simultaneously, like our minds were the same.

Our dance became more primal as the song played. My ass grinding into his pelvis and my arms around his neck, hands in his hair. I could feel his warm breath against my neck and cheek. He smelled like cinnamon. I moaned inwardly as his hands roamed over my hips and abdomen, leaving a faint trail of fire wherever his fingers went over my clothes. I felt the slightest bit of annoyance that even when my skirt rode up I could not feel a physical reaction to our grinding. _What, is he gay?_

(EPOV)

Enthralled. As I made my way through the sea of moving bodies, I couldn't keep my eyes off of her. The way she dance was intoxicating. As I neared I watched her lose herself completely in the music, eyes closed and mouth slightly parted.

I was rather surprised that she didn't pull away as I pulled her into me, matching her movements perfectly. Even more so when she wrapped her arms around me and pushed back harder, never missing a beat. As the music changed, I kept my arms locked. I wasn't ready for it to possibly end. She must have felt the same because she didn't try to turn around, simply slid down my body and back up, pushing her firm ass into my crotch. I ran my hands all over her hips and stomach wanting desperately to feel her skin underneath her clothes. I silently thanked Alice for these pants: they didn't allow for my raging hard on to be felt, even this close. I reveled in being so close with this goddess. Her hair smelt of strawberries and freesia; her skin of milk and honey. I felt drunk off of her.

Another song ended and I finally loosened my hold on her firm body. She turned slowly, head held high and confident, but her eyes were closed. Once she was facing me she finally opened her eyes, something flashed across her face as our eyes met, but as soon as it was there, it was gone. She smiled, her beautiful, perfect white teeth sparkling when the lights hit them. I smiled back and offered her my hand as I gestured towards the lounge. She took my hand and nodded.

I pulled her into one of the curtained beds, not wanting any distractions. We sat for a few minutes in silence as we caught our breath and looked at each other. I finally broke the silence as her eyes got more intense.

"I'm Edward." I paused, waiting for her to tell me her name. She stayed quiet, just looking at me as if waiting for me to say more.

"I apologize for just pulling you into me. I usually respect personal space, but I couldn't resist."

Still nothing. I decided to be more direct.

"What's your name?"

Another flash across her face, only this time when it passed she looked a little upset.

"Bella," she said with a bit of a frown.

"Its good to meet you, Bella. Did I upset you by asking your name?"

She looked at me, and I saw a flash of confusion on her face before she was smiling again.

"No, of course not," she replied. "You just look like someone I used to know and I was waiting for the recognition, but you can't be him."

"And why is that, may I ask?"

"Because the boy I am thinking of would never wear leather pants," she laughed.

I was completely entranced by her laugh. It was almost musical, matching her bell-like voice perfectly. We were interrupted by a waitress asking us if we would like a drink. I looked to Bella who nodded and ordered a tequila sunrise, strong. Shocked, I ordered the same. I must have looked ridiculous because she giggled.

"What," she asked, still giggling.

"I've never met a girl who would willing drink tequila, much less order one with a smile on her face!"

"I get that a lot," she smiled. "I've just always been partial to it, and I only order it on good nights. On bad nights I order whiskey, Jack Daniel's to be specific."

My mouth dropped. Was this girl for real? She was gorgeous and she could probably drink me under the table. Hell, she could probably drink Emmett under the table as well!

"So tonight is a good night then?"

"So far."

I smiled and the waitress arrived with our drinks.

"So what brings you to Trinity? I've been coming here all summer and I would have to be blond to have missed you," I stated casually.

"I'm in town for the night, a pit stop on my way east. I heard that the club was decent and I was in the mood to dance," she answered simply. "But what about you Edward," she grinned coyly. "What are you here for tonight?"

It was as though she was reading my mind and all of its dirty thoughts when she asked me that, looking me dead in the eye. If I wasn't so attracted to her, I might have been a little unnerved.

"Just trying to enjoy my last weekend of summer to the fullest," I replied, my eyes never leaving hers.

She must have caught the not so subtle hint behind my statement because she stood up suddenly, took my hand and dragged me back to the dance floor, recently refreshed drinks in hand.

We danced, if you could call it dancing, until almost one thirty, our bodies never losing contact. I managed to tell Alice and Emmett not to worry about me for the night before shutting off my phone and putting it back in my pocket. I had every intention of waking up with this delectable creature in tomorrow morning. As our bodies bent, thrusted, dipped, swayed, gyrated, grinded, and melded perfectly together I felt my wanting desire to be in her turn to almost a desperate need. And I knew she felt it too. When she faced me, grinding herself into my thigh, tugging on my hair, eyes locked, face mere centimeters apart it was all I could do not to kiss her. I've never kissed a girl.

Don't believe me? It goes like this: I don't date, kiss on the mouth, or exchange any type of communication device. I was never interested in anyone I slept with. It was just sex, mutual pleasure. That's it.

So why did I feel like I was going to miss her when we parted tomorrow? (I already banked on having her tonight.)

(BPOV)

Confused. Honestly, though. No reaction what-so-ever. He must be gay. But if he's gay then why the hell are his hands all over me? I know he wants me. Its in his touch. The way his hands run all over my arms and shoulders, and when he pulls me back into him his hands seem to be pushing an pulling the fabric like he wants it off.

Screw it. Gay or not, he's the best effing dance partner I have had in a while. I lost myself in the feel of his hands on my body, his chest pressed firmly into my back, our hips moving in a sinful rhythm. If he's not gay, he's coming back with me. End of story.

As another song ended and I felt his grip loosen just enough to let me turn. I took a deep breath preparing to be disappointed, and looked up.

_WHAT THE FUCK?_

I turned and looked into the most beautiful eyes I have ever seen. I couldn't breathe. I hoped he didn't notice. Its just that those eyes have haunted me since I was taken from them. I took in his face, still a beautiful, but with a coldness I definitely didn't remember ever seeing.

I smiled to clear the tension.

He offered me his hand, and, upon taking it, led me to one of the curtained seating area for privacy. I was still trying to catch my breath and figure out what I was going to do. _I cannot take Edward Cullen back to my hotel room for sex!_

Damn, he was always my favorite fantasy while I was away. And those didn't come close to doing this hunk of hotness justice. Then I clued into the fact that he was talking to me.

"What's your name?"

_Huh?_

I guess he really didn't recognize me. It probably shouldn't have surprised me, but it did hurt. The closest friend I ever had couldn't see through all the superficial changes. It didn't just hurt, it stung like hell.

I'll be damned if I let him know that though. Maybe I can use this to my advantage.

"Bella."

"Its good to meet you, Bella. Did I upset you by asking your name?"

I guess I did let him know that that it hurt, he just didn't know what it was. Oh, well. Time to play.

I smiled, then, not wanting him to try to ask me what _really_ made me upset. "No, of course not! You just look like someone I used to know and I was waiting for the recognition, but you can't be him."

"And why is that, may I ask?"

I had to laugh.

"Because the boy I am thinking of would never wear leather pants."

It was true, though. The Edward I knew wouldn't be caught dead in leather pants. And he definitely wouldn't be this cocky or look as cold, but still completely inviting. He reminded me of a Venus Fly Trap.

We were interrupted as a waitress, who was looking a little too long at Edward, came to take our drinks. Edward nodded as a sign that I could get whatever I wanted. I ordered my drink of the night- tequila sunrise, STRONG.

I looked over to Edward after I ordered to judge his reaction. I burst into a fit of giggles at the sight of his face. He looked completely dumbfounded and possibly a little impressed and my choice of liquor. He ordered the same, still looking at me with the silly/stupid/impressed look.

"What," I asked, still giggling.

"I've never met a girl who would willing drink tequila, much less order one with a smile on her face!"

"I get that a lot. I've just always been partial to it, and I only order it on good nights. On bad nights I order whiskey, Jack Daniel's to be specific."

His jaw dropped a little bit and I laughed again.

My laugh must have broke his train of thought. "So tonight is a good night then," he asked.

"So far."

He smiled and the waitress arrived with our drinks.

"So what brings you to Trinity? I've been coming here all summer and I would have to be blind to have missed you," he asked.

Shit. I can do this. Uhm. Uhm. Uhm…. BRILLIANT. "I'm in town for the night, a pit stop on my way east. I heard that the club was decent and I was in the mood to dance," I answered. I didn't actually think up a cover story and I didn't want him to know who I am, yet. "But, what about you Edward?" My smile and look made sure he understood what I was about to imply. "What are you here for tonight?"

"Just trying to enjoy my last weekend of summer to the fullest," he replied, our eyes remaining locked. God he's good.

With that statement I gave up on trying to plan an escape and pulled him back to the dance floor.

God it felt good to be in his arms. Our bodies seemed to be built for each other. Every move one made, the other countered perfectly. I was completely lost in his touch and in the music. I didn't even notice when I spun around and locked my hands in his hair. I opened my eyes and our faces were mere centimeters apart. I could feel the heat from his face on mine and his breath smelled of the tequila and of the cinnamon toothpaste that I remembered from childhood. I smiled at the thought though I realized this was my last chance.

I had to leave.

So with the last shred of courage I had I leaned closer and brushed a chaste kiss on his lips and whispered "Soon."

With that I turned and left without a glance back.


	3. So Hott

Disclaimer: Stephenie Myer and associates own all Twilight characters/etc. I just want to play with them for a while and give them something new to do.

* * *

Chapter 3: Inside Out

(BPOV)

I made it to my hotel, into the room, and into the show before the tears finally fell. Why I was crying, I couldn't honestly say. Between seeing him again and spending most of the night in his arms I should have been ecstatic.

_He didn't recognize me._

That was it. That was the reason for the waterfall pouring out of my eyes and down my face. I spent the entirety of my life from age 2 to 11 with the guy and it seemed that 7 years and a change of hair color was enough to erase me from his life as though I never existed.

I hadn't felt pain this deep since the day I left.

I let the water run down my body, washing away all traces of his scent and any proof that the night ever happened. I scrubbed my skin till it was a bright pink and starting to sting. I washed my face, removing all the make up that seemed to hide my identity.

As the water ran cold, the tears finally stopped. I stepped out of the shower and wrapped myself in one of those ridiculously fluffy towels that you can only find at hotels and left the bathroom. I grabbed my iPod and layed down on the bed, not even bothering to put on pajamas.

Headphones in, volume up. I let the music wash away all the thoughts that plagued my head, leaving only the good memories from the night.

As I drifted off to sleep all I could think about was the feel of his body pressed against mine and the look in those beautiful emerald eyes that had haunted me for the last 7 years.

(EPOV)

_What the hell?_

I was back in my room and still completely confused as to what had happened. I was looking in her eyes and all I could think about was kissing those perfect lips and then all of a sudden she leaned in and brushed her lips to mine. She whispered in my ear and then disappeared.

My lips were still tingling.

_Soon._ What did that even mean? I didn't know anything about her, besides her name and the general direction that she was heading in. She knew even less than that about me. How were we ever going to see each other again?

I tore open the mini-fridge and proceeded to drink myself into oblivion.

No thoughts about the girl who had left me in the club. No thoughts about the tingling that I felt in my lips until my face started going numb from the alcohol. Not one single thought about her soft skin and her luscious curves that I was dying to touch.

Until I fell asleep.

I know that alcohol in large quantities gives me some fucked up dreams, but this was ridiculous.

I was a vampire. Bella was my singer. We spent months together until finally I changed her. She was even more stunning, if that were possible, as an immortal. And then this big wolf came and ripped her to pieces.

I woke up screaming.


	4. Inside Out

Disclaimer: Stephenie Myer and associates own all Twilight characters/etc. I just want to play with them for a while and give them something new to do.

* * *

Chapter 4: Best of Both Worlds

(BPOV)

I woke up to my green room brightened with a hazy gray from the sun attempting to peek through the almost constant cloud cover in Forks. I headed to the bathroom to start getting ready for school, even though I still had two hours I was too anxious to sleep anymore.

To say Charlie was shocked when I showed up on his doorstep last night would be so far beyond an understatement. When he opened the door we both kind of stopped. I looked at the man who I loved more than anything, though I hadn't seen him in 7 years. He hadn't changed at all. Sure, time had put some lines on his face and the beginnings of a handsome dusting of gray at his temples, but he was still Charlie. He was still my dad.

I'm not sure if it was the shock, or that he didn't recognize me at first, but I am almost 100% sure that if I hadn't said something we would still be standing in the doorway. "Hey daddy" was all it took to bring a ginormous smile to his face and for him to pull me into a bear hug, tears streaming down both our faces.

We spent a few hours catching up with almost a constant flow of 'I love you' and 'I missed you' coming out between every sentence. We laughed and talked and it was almost as though I had never left.

I'm not exactly sure how long we sat there, but after I yawned Charlie must have decided it was time for bed. He helped me carry my stuff in from my car and up the stairs to my room. When he opened the door, I started the whole crying process again.

My room was the same as I left it; the only things changed were things that would have changed if I grew up here: my twin bed had been replaced with a queen, a desk had been added, and the walls that were once covered with posters of N*SYNC, Britney Spears and the Backstreet Boys were the same beautiful green with framed pictures that I had sent Charlie of my life as I grew up. An amazing stereo was on a shelf with wireless speakers mounted around the room. All of this was done even without his knowledge that I was coming home or even the slightest chance that I might ever come back.

He didn't say a word, just hugged me and left.

I smiled as I rinsed the strawberry shampoo from my hair. My home-coming couldn't have been more perfect if I had planned it!

I finished up my shower and started on my hair and makeup. I had decided that, after the surprise meeting with Edward after the club, I needed to make an entrance today. With that in mind, I kept my hair simple but stylish: wavy with pieces pulled back from the sides. My makeup was a bit more difficult. After finishing the base I went to my room to find something to wear.

After 20 minutes of cursing and throwing things out of my suitcase, I decided on a pair of black skinny-leg jeans and a purple silk tank. I added a dark gray cropped linen jacket and my favorite silver ballet flats. A chunky purple and silver necklace with matching earrings completed the look. I finished my makeup to compliment the outfit: a lighter version of my smoky eyes from the club and a vivid purple instead of green to accentuate the shape. Adding a coat of a sheer pink gloss to my lips, I was finished.

Wanting to get to the school early so I could get on the rosters, I left with about 45 minutes to spare.

XOXOXO

Apparently I wasn't the only one anxious about today. As I came around the corner that hid the school from the road, I saw that most of the parking lot was already brimming with student activity. I decided to go by the office first before parking in the student lot.

Mrs. Cope was most helpful. By the time I reached the office my schedule had already been made, thanks to a phone call from Charlie earlier that morning. She handed me my schedule and a paper to bring back at the end of the day, signed by my teachers. She promised me that my attendance had not become public yet. Smiling and thanking her I left the office to park in the student lot.

I drove off school grounds and back onto them directly into the lot. Driving through the masses of students just wouldn't do for my entrance, or my car.

I parked far enough away that my baby wouldn't get scratched or hit, but close enough that it wouldn't look like I was some kind of freak about it. But seriously, is there such a thing as too careful when it comes to a 2008 Mercedes SLR McLaren Roadster? I mean, its easily worth half a mil. Another kudos to the stupid finishing school.

As I stepped out with my messenger bag and schedule, I noticed that the entirety of the population of Forks High that was outside was staring. _Perfect._ I closed the door, clicked the locks, and started walking up to the buildings like I didn't have a clue what everyone was staring at.

It wasn't until I reached the edge of the parking lot that I felt his eyes on me. I smirked and added just a little bit of sway to my hips as I continued in.

XOXOXO

It doesn't seem to matter what school I'm in: CLASSES STILL SUCKED. English, Spanish, and Calculus were ridiculous. Granted, it was the first day, but just glancing at the syllabus told me that I had already learned everything in my advanced and extra courses at Brookshire. _There goes my distraction._

Lunch was, interesting to say the least. No one had figured out who I was and I was invited by Jessica Stanley to sit with her group of friends including, none other than the bitch from hell, Lauren effing Mallory. I noticed that all of my friends were sitting alone, the same as when I left them, keeping to themselves.

Okay, so here is the plan:

Day 1: Lunch-

1. Learn as much as possible about Edward and Company

2. Put the bitch in her place

3. Sweeping Exit

It wasn't hard to get Jessica to open up. All she had to do was catch me 'sneaking' glances at Edward for her to spill _everything._ I quickly found out that Edward was always single, but never alone. A player, but from the way she described it I figured that it was more scorn talking than fact. He made it perfectly clear that sex meant nothing; the chicks were just stupid enough to believe that they were 'the one' who could change is philosophy. Idiots, the lot of them.

As for the rest of the group: Alice was as beautiful as ever, and just as small as I remembered. She was dating Jasper, the gorgeous blonde boy sitting next to her. I recognized Emmet, who had transferred in the fourth grade and had been somehow assimilated into the group, no questions asked. The ravishing blonde beauty staring at him was his girlfriend, Rosalie- Jasper's twin sister. I learned little from Jessica about any of them before she returned to complaining about Edward and his inattention to her. Giving up, I tuned in to the rest of the table, looking for the perfect segue into phase 2 of my plan.

Mike Newton didn't disappoint. I noticed the furtive glances that he kept throwing at me, all the while talking low with Tyler Crowley. Something was up. I looked back at Jessica while I perked my ears to Mike and Tyler's conversation.

"She's smoking'!"

"No shit, idiot, but you are dating Lauren."

"Aw, come on! Even Lauren would do her. Besides, apparently she's easy. I could fuck her and Lauren would never have to know. I'm sure Bella wouldn't care."

"Where'd you hear a load like that from? She is obviously a virgin."

"Come on, Newton! You can't honestly believe that? Lauren talked to Jess, who has had 2 classes with her. She's a bon-a-fide whore, but she's quiet about it. Lauren said that she slept with 2 of her old teachers so she could pass and that she blew Principal Snyder so she could come here."

I quit listening after that. Actually, I quit thinking after that. That little wench, Lauren, was about to get a _rude_ awakening. Standing up, tray in hand, I sashayed casually over to the queen bee with a smile on my face. Once I had her attention, I 'dropped' my tray of chili, and banana crème pie on Lauren's lap. For added affect, and mostly because I was still so angry that I hadn't recovered my ability to speak yet, I poured my remaining half a bottle of Hawaiian Punch on her head.

"If you ever say one more fucking word about me, I'm gonna show you what I really learned at my old school. And we wouldn't want to mess up that pretty face of yours now would we? Keep your mouth shut and your blatant lies to yourself, fat ass."

With that I turned and left, but not before I could remind her, "Oh, and Lauren, dear. Hawaiian Punch and tomato paste stain very quickly. Might want to get that cleaned up soon. Its too bad that you're so clumsy." I smirked, reminding her that she covered herself in my lunch.

XOXOXO

The rest of the day passed in relative quietness. No one said anything about the incident in the cafeteria. Well, no one said anything to me, anyways. I got looks of awe and I heard the entire cafeteria clapping when I left, but that was it. It was a bit disappointing.

I wasn't looking for attention or anything, but I didn't risk my academic career for everyone to just let it go. Making an impression before everyone figures out who I am is going to be harder that it originally seemed.

I went to biology and sat next to an empty seat and then proceeded to gym, where I sat on the bleachers until a uniform could be ordered for me.

I was so wrapped up in my thoughts that I didn't notice the pixie-like girl standing next to my car until I was reaching out to open the door… only to come into contact with another hand. An Alice hand, to be specific.

I looked up from the ground and into the angry eyes of my best friend. I sighed, knowing that I was no longer fooling her. So much for having the best of both worlds of Marie at home and Bella at school.

"Get in."

And without a second thought, she flitted to the passenger side, opened the door and got into the car before I could even process that she wasn't going to argue with me.

_Here goes nothing._


	5. The Best of Both Worlds

Disclaimer: Stephenie Myer and associates own all Twilight characters/etc. I just want to play with them for a while and give them something new to do.

* * *

Chapter 5:

(APOV)

From the moment she walked into Trinity Saturday night I knew it was my Isabella. The world knew her as Marie, but I had always called her Isabella. She looked so different, but at the same time all the same, just grown up. It wasn't hard to figure out who had captured my brother's attention that night. I wanted to warn him, but something told me that she had a plan for what was to happen.

So I waited. All day Sunday, I waited. I spent countless hours pacing my room waiting for the phone to ring and for my best friend to tell me that she was home and wanted to see me. But no, she never called.

So I waited some more. I figured she would at least acknowledge me at school today, but again, NOTHING. By the time seventh period let out I was fuming. I stormed out to the parking lot to wait by her car, texting my brothers and Jasper along the way to let them know I was going home another way. Then I turned my phone off.

I saw her approach, her head down, lost in thought. The locks clicked behind me. As she reached to open her door I caught her hand. Angry blue eyes met with startled brown ones. I opened my mouth, but she beat me to it.

"Get in."

So here we sit, driving down the back road towards First Beach. It figures she'd take us here. We used to make Emmett bring us here when we were little and we wanted to go on adventures. Isabella always insisted on dragging Edward along. I guess she figured that bringing me here would lessen my anger.

Damn, she knows me too well, still.

She parked and we got out, each of us pausing to breath in the briny air, before walking towards the shoreline.

"I'm sorry, Ali."

All the heartbreaking emotion in those three words decimated my already crumbling anger. I stopped and pulled my best friend into a hug, tears already streaming down both of our faces.

"Its okay, Bella. Its okay."

We sobbed on each others shoulders for what seemed like forever before we broke away, giggling at our silly display.

"Why didn't you tell me you were back," I asked.

"I wanted to, Alice, so much. I just couldn't figure out how to tell you without Edward, Emmett, and the rest of the school knowing as well. I honestly thought my game would have been up by now, surely I haven't changed _that_ much."

"Oh contraire, my dear. The girl who left was a beautiful, shy, bookworm. The woman who has returned is a stunning and confident. Hell, not even Edward has a clue of who the, and I quote, 'ravishing brunette that keeps my head going in circles' is. He knows that he met you at the club, but beyond that, nothing."

I looked towards her as I told her of my idiot brother's cluelessness. I didn't miss the wave of disappointment that crossed her face.

_So Edward isn't the only one who was struck silly._

"Darling, don't worry. Edward has had his head up his ass since the first day of high school. We used to talk about you every night after you were taken, but after that first day Edward refused to listen or speak about anything pertaining to you. I found him passed out in his room with a bottle of Jack Daniel's that night and I think that he gave up that day. He always kept hope that you would come back to us, to him, but when you weren't there he gave up and a part of him died. Since then he has been an arrogant prick who wants nothing other than sex from any girl."

I watched again as the disappointment crossed her face, followed quickly by anger and then determination.

"Edward did what?…


	6. Chapter 6

Disclaimer: Stephenie Myer and associates own all Twilight characters/etc. I just want to play with them for a while and give them something new to do.

* * *

Chapter 6:

(EPOV)

The bass pulsed through me as I tore out of the parking lot. Who the hell was that girl, chick, woman? _Definitely a woman._ And what the fuck was Alice doing with her? She'd had my head spinning since the night she left me standing alone in the middle of Trinity. Just as I think I've not only met the perfect woman, and realize that I may never see her again she shows up at school looking a-fucking-mazing. I definitely didn't miss the way her hips swayed so seductively when she walked through the parking lot. Then the stunt she pulled with Lauren was incredibly hot. My mind hasn't had a chance to process anything about this mysterious woman other than her name: Bella. And what a fitting name it was.

Now my sister is involved though. How the fuck did Alice know her? They didn't have any classes together. Alice was with me all through lunch. And the only time I wasn't around was 6th period bio. I wasn't ready to look into those piercing chocolate eyes yet. But now what? After Alice talks to her Bella will never speak to me. I know how much my dear sister despises what I've become, no matter what the cause. I also know that Alice very much approves of Bella's fashion sense which probably means that they're bonding over shoes at this very minute and I have lost all possibility of getting Bella into my bed.

I floored the gas pedal.

Parked my Volvo, slammed every door behind me, waved hello to my parents and made it to my room in 10 seconds flat. I quickly locked the door and pulled out the Jack. The only way to forget about Bella would be to drink her out of my head.

XOXOXO

9:00 p.m.

I sat up and lightly shook my head. I was still very drunk. Next to me was the empty bottle and another bottle half gone. _Almost a record._ The clock read 9:06 p.m. when I finally registered the source of my consciousness: a loud banging and slightly muffled yelling at my bedroom door. I stood up slowly and stumbled over to the door to unlock it. I would've ignored it but it was just making my head throb even worse.

I barley get the door unlocked before it flies open leaving a very red faced pixie standing in front of me. One look at my face and red turns almost to purple as Alice opens her mouth to verbally assault me for drinking so much. Before she can get a word out my hand covers her mouth and I muster up the best look of pleading I can.

"Please?"

She nods. I take my hand away as her face starts to turn back to its normal color.

"Please don't yell at me. I'm miserable enough as it is." I back away from the door and fall into the welcoming smell of my black leather couch.

I feel the cushion move slightly as Alice sits down and starts stroking my hair. "What's wrong," she asks simply. I took a deep breath. "My head has been spinning since I met Bella at Trinity, Al. I never thought I would see her again and all of a sudden she appears. I'm so caught up in her that I don't even know how to talk to her. For the first time I want to truly impress a girl. At first I just wanted to fuck her senseless, but now I actually want to get to know her I just can't figure out why she means so much to me though I barely know her. Maybe its because…. Nah, that can't be it, never mind."

"What can't be what, exactly"

Another deep breath and I turn my head to look into her eyes. "I was thinking about her on the way home and then SHE popped into my head. I've been a wreck ever since." I knew Alice would understand who I meant by SHE: Marie, my best friend. "I guess Bella just reminds me of HER a little bit. I still miss her Ali, so much. I want her back so bad. I thought I could just put all of it behind me but I couldn't. I changed so I wouldn't be forced to remember the best friend and love of my life that was ripped from me."

I sobbed into Alice's lap for a good 20 minutes. As my tears began to subside Alice shifted me a bit then got up. When she returned I'd managed to sit my stiff, pounding body upright and just hold my head in my hands. Two asprin and a glass of water appeared in my face and I ingested them rather quickly.

When the pounding had dulled to a dull throb I looked over at Alice. I wasn't surprised to see a look of distress on her face, but I was surprised that the distress didn't seem to be about me.

(APOV)

Bella, a much improved name for her changes I might add, and I spent a few hours just sitting on at the beach catching up on everything. We laughed and cried and nothing could've been more perfect for our reunion. She made me swear not to tell anyone, Edward especially, about who she really was. I agreed only on the premise that she wouldn't wait too much longer to reveal herself.

I was extremely relieved that she'd agreed after I found Edward in his room and he let out all the stress he'd been covering up since the weekend. I knew he couldn't be THAT dense not to at least have some idea that there was a connection between 'Marie' and 'Bella.' As his sobs began to subside and a gentle snore escaped him I gently slid his head off my lap. After I covered him up I took in the scene around me. Empty and half empty liquor bottles littered the floor along with clothes and cd cases. I heaved a sigh and began tidying up before Esme or Carlisle got curious as to where their beloved son had disappeared to all afternoon.

Two baskets of laundry, a bag of bottles and an hour later his room was almost done. All that was left was to strip his bed and put on clean sheets. As I hastily pulled off the sheets I was met with a rather heavy book flying through the air and hitting me in the face. I caught myself before the stream of curse words hit too high of a volume and woke Edward. I picked up the offending book and immediately recognized it to be Edward's journal. I never remembered it being quite so thick though. Before I could give in and read it I gently tossed it onto the bedside table and finished clearing off the bed. I'd wanted to read that damn journal since we started high school.

Being twins, Edward and I were naturally close. Even after he changed I was still the only one he would let himself break down in front of, but it was different. We hardly spoke about anything personal anymore. There were so many things we used to share with each other, but now anything that brought us true happiness was taboo. I knew that his journal was the only way I would ever understand what actually happened three years ago today. It made it all that much more difficult not to open it up and at least take a peek.

I would've been good and not read it, too if it hadn't fallen off the table. As I was putting the last of the pillows on I bumped the table and the book fell off. As I picked it up a few pictures fell almost completely out of the book. Carefully I held the pictures in place as I turned the book over, so as not to lose their places in the pages. I glanced down and almost dropped the book again.

Every one of the pictures was of Bella. My curiosity, now exploding, got the better of me and I opened the book.


	7. Chapter 7

Disclaimer: Stephenie Myer and associates own all Twilight characters/etc. I just want to play with them for a while and give them something new to do.

* * *

Chapter 7

(EPOV)

I was slightly awoken as Alice slid off the couch and covered me up, but I was too exhausted to move. Even as she began cleaning my room I could barely focus long enough to form a coherent thought, much less tell her to stop picking up after me like I was a child even though I was more than gracious for her help. I fell in and out of sleep as she worked and only feeling slightly guilty about letting her continue cleaning. It wasn't until I heard her cursing and stomping that I actually opened my eyes wide enough to see that my journal had hit her face. Instantly tensing I waited to see if she'd open it, and relief flooded through me when she just set it aside.

My journal and all of its contents were not something I ever wanted to show anyone. The weakness I poured into the pages served to keep me from going insane with grief and falling into a deep and noticeable depression. The truth is, I refused to let _her_ go. Trying to forget her was like trying to forget how to breathe. She was my best friend and I was honestly in love with her. I always had been. Eleven years of separation hadn't changed that one bit.

I filled the pages of my ever expanding 'diary' with memories, hopes, nightmares and dreams of her. Rarely was there a page that wasn't dedicated to her. It probably seems completely crazy to have a book full of thoughts about one person, but it was those thoughts that kept me hoping she'd come back someday. The first day of high school was the day I'd been dreading would come for years.

I opened my eyes again as I heard a sharp intake of breath from Alice. As I moved my head as quietly as I could to get a better look at the source of her shock, I realized what she was holding and what had fallen out of it. I was royally fucked now. If I revealed that I was awake I was bound to face the Spanish Inquisition and possibly have my head ripped off because I would refuse to answer her questions: not a good idea. But if I just lay here and let her into my personal world maybe she would be able to forgive me. Maybe she would see what has been plaguing me for the past three years: not great, but definitely better than plan A.

So here's the 50:50 of why Alice might kick my ass even when she reads my journal: I have pictures of Marie. Not just pictures from when we were kids. I mean I have pictures of her from the first four years she'd been gone. And I never shared them with Alice.

The day school started back again after Marie had been taken away I begged Carlisle to take me over to Charlie's house. Seeing how upset Alice and I had been over the months since our best friend's removal he agreed and even suggested that we bring Alice. I don't know why but I asked him to keep it a secret. I told him that Alice going over there would probably upset Charlie even more since she slept over there on a regular basis growing up.

The first visit was hard. Charlie actually cried in front of me, apologizing the whole time of course. We talked about Marie for about an hour before he suddenly stood up and walked in to the kitchen. He came back with a sad look on his face and handed me and envelope. "Pick one," was all he said. Inside the envelope were several pictures of Marie. I carefully looked at each and every one before selecting one where she look most like the happy girl she was when we were hanging out. I hugged Charlie as tight as I could and thanked him profusely for the gift he'd just given me. He promised that I could have one every time she sent them, which she'd promised him she'd do by the first of every school year.

For four years I spent the afternoon with Charlie after the first day of school reading the letters she'd sent and looking through pictures. Freshman year it all changed. There were no pictures. School had even started a week late due to building renovations. In my mind it could only mean that she wasn't coming back. And with that realization, my world came crashing down around me. I gave up on everything. My heart froze over and my smile never fully came back.

I noticed the tears streaming down my cheeks and went to wipe them, forgetting that I had company. I looked over to see Alice staring at me with a look of hurt, relief, anger, and love but most of all understanding. She now knew what had really happened, and she seemed sympathetic.

What a relief.

(BPOV)

Being with Alice almost made it feel like I'd never left. She accepted me with open arms despite my complete silence for seven years. It was too hard to deal with being ripped away from home when as it was without having to hear how much I was missing from so far away. I'd begged Renee to let me come back and visit, but her refusal was solid.

I got home before Charlie even though we'd been at the beach till dusk. I began making dinner for him as a surprise. I put it in the oven and ran upstairs to shower and change. I was brushing my hair when I noticed a box wrapped up like a present, hideous bow and all, sitting on my desk. I quickly tore open the paper and peered inside. Nestled in the stuffing was a delicate silver ring. As I lifted it out of the box, tears began streaming down my face. I recognized the claddagh design instantly and looked inside the band for any engravings. Sure enough 'Always' was written inside. Edward had given me the ring for my tenth birthday and I had never taken it off till the day I left. Renee had practically ripped it off my finger and threw it at Charlie. I quickly looked around for a card or note of some sort that I might have missed and found a piece of the wrapping paper that had writing on it. I recognized Charlie's messy scrawl. 'Just be you baby girl,' was all it said.

Charlie came home and thanked me for the dinner before settling down in front of the TV to watch the game. His wink and glance at my left hand was enough for me to know he understood how grateful I was to have my ring back.

After cleaning the kitchen back up and finishing my homework I grabbed my iPod and went to bed. It had been a long day and I had a feeling tomorrow was going to be even harder.


	8. Chapter 8

Disclaimer: Stephenie Myer and associates own all Twilight characters/etc. I just want to play with them for a while and give them something new to do.

* * *

Chapter 8

(BPOV)

I pulled in to the parking lot and was once again met with stares from the entire student body. I felt confident once again as I strutted through the crowd, the same added swing to my hips as I felt his eyes on me again. Pulling my phone outta my pocket I texted Alice good morning. We'd agreed yesterday to keep our friendship under wraps until I revealed my identity.

A: Work it girl! Boys are droolin and Miss Bitch is fuming!

B: Just wait till she finds out who I really am! She's gonna explode!

A: How much longer you gonna wait?

B: You'll see….

A: Just make it soon okay?

B: That hard for you to keep a secret Ali?

A: Its not me that I'm worried about.

B: YOU TOLD SOMEONE?

A: No. But HE'S not as dense as we thought apparently.

B: That bad?

A: Just don't make him drink himself into another coma, k?

B: Swear. See you at lunch!

Alice truly has me worried about Edward. If it weren't for needing to make sure Lauren learned her place, I'd march over to him right now and tell him.

I twisted my ring around and around on my finger as my nerves continued to build. I was worried that Lauren had learned not to mess with me a little too soon and thus I would be unable to shut her down again. Oh well, I knew something would come up.

***(EPOV)

I watched her every movement as she sashayed through the parking lot. I wanted nothing more than to feel her soft flesh in my hands as I pounded into her, rutting away the bittersweet memories of my Marie. Her perfectly curved ass seemed to taunt me as her hips swayed from side to side. The long dark locks that hung down her back begged to be wrapped between my fingers and pulled tight. How I longed to be between her perfect milky thighs, buried deep inside her.

I shook my head to clear the images of her writhing and moaning beneath me. I couldn't skip Biology again and I dreaded having to be that close to her without being able to touch her. It wouldn't help if I kept fantasizing about her. It didn't escape my notice that Bella and Alice were completely ignoring each other like yesterday afternoon didn't exist. Something was up.

Classes went by torturously slow. I desperately hoped for time to speed up so lunch would start. I wanted to see her again, even if it was from across a crowded room. I was particularly intrigued to see if she would pull off any more stunts. As the bell finally rang to signal the end of fifth period I raced to the cafeteria. In my haste I barely registered the odd glances I received from the entirety of the student body. I hardly noticed the whispers flowing around me like a light breeze.

As I practically skidded into the cafeteria I struggled to regain my composure as I took a seat at my usual table where Emmett was already sitting with Rosalie in his lap. I looked around for my goddess with no luck. Where could she be? It took all of my energy not to constantly stare at the door.

Only five minutes left for lunch and she still hadn't shown. I looked over to ready to ask Alice if she knew what was up, but I was met the solemn face of Jasper peering sadly at me. I gave him a questioning look but all he did was shrug. Giving up on waiting I stormed out of the cafeteria without a glance back as my chair hit the floor.

Tearing through the empty halls I slammed my bag into the lockers on my way to the wall behind the school. I desperately needed a cigarette to calm my nerves before biology started. I slammed the door open and the cool air immediately began to clam my nerves. I pulled out a cig and began searching for my lighter when I soft whimpering sounds reached my ears. Quietly I made my way towards the sound.

Turning the corner the sight that met my unsuspecting eyes made me drop everything.

"Bella?"

My goddess, in all her beauty, was sitting on the ground against the wall with her knees to her chest and her face buried crying softly. What could've happened to break this strong, fierce woman? I silently vowed to murder anyone and everyone that had hurt her. It didn't even occur to me that my vows and promises, though secret, showed a level of compassion that I never thought I'd be capable of again.

Her breath hitched at my question and she lifted her head. Red rimmed chocolate eyes met startled green ones and before I knew what was happening she was up and in my arms, her sobs even louder and more violent than before. We sank to the ground as the bell rang for sixth period to start, neither of us caring enough to go to class.

After a few minutes her tears slowed and her breathing became almost a normal rhythm. I thought she had fallen asleep, and I was more than willing to sit her and let her rest, until she lifted her head. "How are you not furious with me?" I was shocked by her question. In what realm of possibility would I have any reason to be upset with her? "Should I be furious at you? Right now I'm just worried about you. What happened?"

"You really don't know?" I looked at her, my confusion growing ten-fold. "The only thing I know is that the one of the seemingly strongest people I've ever met has been hiding back here for God knows how long crying her eyes out and I don't know why." I watched as she blinked back tears, swallowed and took a deep breath. Apparently whatever she was about to say was going to be difficult.

"I'm back here because of Lauren Mallory and her band of puppets. They verbally attacked me with my biggest weakness, my parents, as their weapon. I would explain to you how deeply my family has scarred me, but you know almost as well as I do." She took another breath, as if waiting for me to say something. I, unfortunately, was only becoming more and more confused. How would I know anything about her family? How could she expect me to? Her head dropped as tears began falling from her eyes. When she looked back up the contrast of the tears against her cheeks and the fiery anger in her eyes was dually the most erotic and the scariest thing I've ever seen. She ripped herself out of my arms and stood up so fast I fell backwards to the ground.

"Edward Anthony Cullen!" How did she know my middle name? "How dare you! How dare you act like this! I'm so ashamed of you! How could you put Carlisle and Esme and Alice through that? If I had known what was going on back here…" She trailed off as she caught the fury in my eyes. Who the fuck was this girl and why the hell did she think she could talk to me like this? I'd deal with Alice later for telling a perfect stranger things that were none of either of their business, but this girl needed to be dealt with now. My fists clenched tight, I opened my mouth…

"My name is Isabella Marie Swan."

…and it snapped shut with an audible click. She'd said the words so fast I must have misunderstood her. "Could you say that again, please?" She glanced at her feet for a moment before looking at me again. This time, with her shoulders squared and her head high, she repeated slowly and strongly, "My name is Isabella Marie Swan." I sank to my knees. Surely this was a cruel joke. Something my sister cooked up to mess with me. But Alice read my journal. She had to know that a joke this cruel would tear me apart. A dream then? That's it. I'm dreaming. I'm going to wake up in a minute, on my couch, with the worst hang over ever.

"You're not dreaming, Edward."

"That's what all dream people say."


	9. Chapter 9

Disclaimer: Stephenie Myer and associates own all Twilight characters/etc. I just want to play with them for a while and give them something new to do.

* * *

Chapter 9

(BPOV)

It all seemed to happen so fast that I could hardly believe it was over; I had finally told Edward the truth about who I was. It wasn't exactly the way I pictured things going. I certainly didn't expect him to find me balling my eyes out behind the school and showing that I wasn't as strong as I pretended to be.

Fucking bitch. Lauren Mallory was responsible for my not so graceful bean spilling. The little whore cornered me outside the bathroom just before the bell for lunch rang. It was like she had planned the cosmos to align for her perfect revenge. As soon as the bell had rung and the halls had filled with students she screamed my full name at the top of her lungs. The entirety of the hallway froze and turned in silence to see what the commotion was. Seeing that she had everyone's attention she repeated my name.

And then it began. The stupid bitch proceeded to question me about my drunken, whore of a mother and berate me with guilty accusations that I was the reason she ripped us out of Forks and left a devastated and depressed Charlie behind to pick up the pieces of a shattered home. I had always known that our leaving had hurt Charlie, but the dark pictures her words painted broke any fight I had in me. She had attacked my biggest weakness and was victorious. Without a word of retaliation I turned on my heel and ran as fast as I could; fighting tears the whole way. She may have won the battle, but I would not give her the satisfaction of seeing me cry.

I made it to the back of the school before the sobs became so violent that I couldn't even stand anymore. I always blamed myself for the hurt that Renee had done to Charlie. If I hadn't been born he would've never had to suffer the loss my mother put him through. If it hadn't been for me Charlie could've been happily married with a couple kids and a full life. This guilt was stupid, maybe, but it was overwhelming none-the-less.

I never heard him approach. Never heard his footsteps, his curses, him throwing his bag to the ground. Nothing.

"Bella?"

Just my name. God only knows how long he'd been standing there; how long he'd been watching me fall apart. When I looked up and saw him there I completely forgot that he didn't know who I was. I forgot that I hadn't even spoken to him since Saturday. I forgot everything but the familiar comfort and safety of being in his arms. As we fell to the ground I let myself meld into his warm embrace, and just let my tears run their course. As I started to calm I realized that he must have already heard who I was. Why else would he hold an almost perfect stranger so tenderly? It didn't matter. As long as he was willing I would stay wrapped up with him.

I waited for a quite a while. Waited for the anger. Waited for the hurt. Waited for the guilt. It never came.

"How are you not furious with me?" I finally asked him. I saw the shock. Why is he not throwing me off him? "Should I be furious at you? Right now I'm just worried about you. What happened?" His response stunned me.

"You really don't know?" He looked at me again and I saw only confusion in his eyes. "The only thing I know is that the one of the seemingly strongest people I've ever met has been hiding back here for God knows how long crying her eyes out and I don't know why." I blinked back the tears that began to form at his admission of how strong a person he thought I was. I'm not strong. I never was. I just learned how to fake it. He should be able to see that.

"I'm back here because of Lauren Mallory and her band of puppets. They verbally attacked me with my biggest weakness, my parents, as their weapon. I would explain to you how deeply my family has scarred me, but you know almost as well as I do." I looked at him, waiting for some kind of response I guess. But again I was wrong to expect one. In a few short seconds I realized that he truly was as dense as I thought. He had no idea who I was, nor did he seem to care. Alice had hit the nail on the head when she told me how self-absorbed he'd become. I just didn't want to believe her. How could my sweet sweet Edward be this way? Surely something or someone had intervened to make him this cold shell of the human he once was. I looked at him again, only this time I looked at him with an anger I didn't know myself capable of. I exploded out of his arms and with a fury fueled solely by my deepest love for him, I proceeded to rip him a new one.

"Edward Anthony Cullen! How dare you! How dare you act like this! I'm so ashamed of you! How could you put Carlisle and Esme and Alice through that? If I had known what was going on back here…" I had begun pacing at some point, but at the realization that there was almost no movement coming from him I stopped and looked. The rage I saw in his eyes almost made me want to back up a few steps. Alice had told me of Edward's temper and I was in no mood to see it first hand. I realized that to him I had crossed lines by mentioning his family, since he still didn't know me. Stupid prick. Its his own fault.

"My name is Isabella Marie Swan."

I watched his mouth shut so fast that I heard the click of his teeth. He just stared. "Could you say that again, please?" I glanced down, steeling my resolve to finally let him in. I picked my head up, squared my shoulders and repeated, "My name is Isabella Marie Swan." He looked at me. The pain I saw on his face and twisting in his eyes almost brought me to tears. As he sank to his knees and broke his stare I heard him whispering. I caught the "Alice" and then "dream."

"You're not dreaming, Edward."

"That's what all dream people say."

I walked slowly towards him, not wanting to startle him with any sudden movements. I sank down in front of him, took his face gently in my hands, and lifted his gaze to my own. "I'm here Edward. I'm here and I'm not going anywhere ever again. I've missed you more than words could possibly express, but I'm here now. This is real." He stared, unblinking, for several seconds before he started shaking his head again. He didn't believe me. I was clueless as to how I was going to make him believe. I clenched my hands together to keep me from just tackling him and forcing him to understand.

That's when I felt it. My ring. Edward had given it to me so surely it should be enough proof that he wasn't dreaming. I slid the ring off and grabbed his hand. After prying open his tightly clenched fist I dropped the ring in his palm and closed his hand. I watched as he lifted the hand to his face and opened it. His eyes flashed with so many emotions it was hard to pick one out. I didn't have to though. Soon enough I found out which emotion reigned supreme.

ANGER.

(EPOV)

I jumped up and away from her so fast I probably gave myself whiplash. How fucking dare she. How dare she come back here without a word. How dare she coerce my own sister into keeping her secret so she could play her games. Who did this bitch think she was? "Did you honestly think that I would be so happy to see you I'd forget about all the pain and hurt you caused us? You think that coming back her and playing games is how you make up for not writing or calling or even pretending to miss the closest friends you ever had? Well think the fuck again. Stay the hell away from me. You're nothing more than a distant memory to me Bella." I spit her name out like a vile taste in my mouth. Without looking back I turned on my heel and left her there.

Glancing at my watch I saw that 6th period was about to let out. With the shape of Bella's ring piercing the skin of my palm as my fists clenched ever tighter, I marched to Alice's classroom. She had a lot of explaining to do.


	10. Chapter 10

Disclaimer: Stephenie Myer and associates own all Twilight characters/etc. I just want to play with them for a while and give them something new to do. Songs belong to their respective artists and labels, etc.

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Chapter 10: The In-Betweens

(BPOV)

As he walked away I felt the tears begin to form in my eyes. I didn't know until right then how deep the wound of my leaving went. As quickly as the hurt had come, though, it was disappearing even faster. I felt the anger, built up from years of quelled pain and fear from my abrupt relocation, begin to take hold of every cell in my body. I didn't come back for Edward. I didn't come back for Alice. I sure as hell didn't come back to find myself in the same dismal life I had left. I foolishly had let Lauren Mallory hurt me with her words and now I was standing here with my mouth open and tears staining my cheeks because of Edward?

Yeah-fucking-right.

I quickly dried my eyes and adjusted my clothes. I went to retrieve my bag from the ground and realized that Edward still had my ring. Shit. I guess I will have to talk to him sooner rather than later. The bell for 6th period to end rang and deciding to skip Phys. Ed. I headed straight for the parking lot. I wasn't expecting to see anyone there, but surprisingly most of the senior class was in the lot. I ducked behind a few cars and was in my beloved Mercedes before anyone could spot me. I had decided to deal with Lauren later.

Peeling out of the parking lot I headed straight for the Cullen's house. Alice told me yesterday that she didn't have a class 7th period and we had planned to go to her house to catch up today after I got out of school. I didn't think she'd mind if I was early.

I parked my car, which looked right at home with Dr. and Mrs. Cullen's cars in the driveway, and knocked on the front door. I held my breath as I waited, so nervous about seeing Carlisle and Esme. They had been like a second family to me. I spent as much time at there house as I did at my own, more so even if you counted my late-night visits to Edwards room. Carlisle is a doctor at the local hospital. I've known him since before I can remember. I was majorly accident prone as a kid and Carlisle has set every one of my broken bones, cleaned every gash, and he's even stitched me up a few times; all from the comfort of the Cullen house. I've been terrified of hospitals since my Gran died and Carlisle treated me like one of his own children. He had left the hospital to patch me up so often that, apparently, the nurses called my ringtone the Bella Alert.

The door suddenly swung open.

Esme stood there with a puzzled look on her face, but she was just as I remembered. This woman I considered to be my mother more than my own. She was so warm and loving and she always seemed to have an angelic glow about her. I wondered if she recognized me. Should I say something? She doesn't look happy. Wait, are those… tears?

"Marie?" I heard her voice shake in disbelief.

My face broke into a tearful smile and I quickly threw my arms around her. She knew me. She knew me like a mother knows her child. I couldn't believe how lucky I was.

"I've missed you so much Momma C," I choked out. We finally let go and she took my hands and pulled me into the house, a billion questions pouring out.

"How are you? Where have you been? When did you get back? You look so grown up! How's your Dad? What happened to your hair? Why didn't you come by the moment you got back? Have you seen the kids yet?"

That last question reminded me why I was here.

"I'm great, Esme. I got back a few days ago. I would have come by sooner, but I was so nervous about school and seeing everyone that I could barely sleep! And speaking of seeing everyone, that's kinda why I'm here. Edward didn't recognize me and found out today who I really am. He didn't take it so well and he walked off with something that belongs to me and I really need to get it back. Are he and Alice here?"

"I believe they came in a few minutes before you knocked. What does 'didn't take it so well' mean exactly? He didn't hurt you did he sweetheart?"

"NO! Of course not." Why did she ask me that?

"I was just making sure, dear. Edward hasn't really been himself since you left. It hurt him more than he would let on. He saw a counselor for a week before the counselor said that there was no point seeing as how Edward wouldn't say a word during their sessions. He's been so troubled. He puts on a show around me. I guess he thinks I don't know and he's protecting me. I know though. A mother always knows."

Esme trailed off, lost in thought about Edward. It hurt me to see her so deeply saddened by Edward's behavior. It hurt me even worse to know that I was the cause of it. I was quickly becoming angry again. What gives Edward the right to hurt his mother so much? Doesn't he see how lucky he is to have such a caring and compassionate family?

"I'll fix this, Esme. He's got another thing coming if he thinks I am just going to let him continue with his rebellious womanizing ways. I'll bring your son back to you."

"Thank you, Marie."

"Oh! Uhm, I am actually going by Bella now. Marie is a memory and I don't even feel like the same person anymore."

"Bella! Its perfect. The kids are upstairs, you remember the way?"

"Of course." I gave Esme a hug before making my way up to the second floor. As I walked up the beautiful staircase, memories flashed through my mind of Edward and I sliding down the banister together. I was always to scared to do it on my own and Alice refused to accept help. Edward was the perfect big brother to both of us."

I passed Carlisle's office, but he was still at the hospital.

Finally I stood in front of Edward's door. I could hear music playing inside. My breath caught as the notes began to form an all too familiar tune.

(EPOV)

I lay on my bed replaying my conversation with Alice and thinking about Marie. Or Bella. Or whoever the hell she is.

_The bell rang and I grabbed Alice's arm as she exited the classroom. I guess she saw my face because she quickly fell into step beside me as I marched to an empty classroom around the corner. I slammed the door shut and took a deep breath before I turned around to face my traitorous sister. I heard her breath catch and before I could turn, she was at my side grabbing my clenched hand. I hadn't even noticed the blood beginning to crust in streaks along my fist. _

"_Edward, what happened!"_

_The fear in her voice automatically softened my anger towards her._

"_Open your fist, Edward!"_

_I slowly released my grasp and let her see what I was holding. I watched as she poked the small piece of silver and then gently picked it up. "Bella," she whispered._

_Without moving I asked, "Why didn't you tell me?" I recognized pain and hurt in my voice. I'd been trying for wrath and anger._

_Still looking at the floor Alice responded, "It wasn't my secret to tell. I'm sorry Edward, but she was going to tell you today anyway. She was on the way to talk to you when Lauren saw her. From there you know what happened, but I really am sorry. She felt like she owed you the truth face to face."_

_I pondered Alice's words and realized that she was right not to tell me. Bella obviously knew who I was at the club and I knew she would've felt the need to explain it herself._

I'd hugged her and she'd handed me back the ring. She'd kissed my cheek and skipped out of the room without a word.

I headed home after stopping to wash my hands. Without a word to Esme I ran up to my bedroom and slammed the door. I threw my back pack on the couch and clicked the power button on my stereo. Sitting down on the bed I let the music wash over me. It was the last piece I had written and it had been for Marie.

I was sort of a musical genius. I started playing piano when I was three years old and by the time I was five I could actually write sheet music. The summer before fourth grade, I'd finished writing this song and even managed to record it onto a CD for her. On her birthday that September she crawled through my window like so many nights before and I was sitting up waiting for her.

_I watched as she walked over and sat on my bed. Her cheeks were tear-stained, her eyes were red and puffy, and she wouldn't meet my gaze. I went and sat beside her. She still wouldn't look up. I gently pulled her small, trembling body to me and held her tight. After a few moments she slowly returned my embrace. _

_I kissed her forehead and stood up. Walking over to my stereo I told her that I had a birthday present for her. She slowly looked up and finally our eyes met. My heart screamed for her and all of the pain that her eyes betrayed. I pushed play and walked back to her. I knelt down in front of her and took a small pink box out of my pocket. Holding her gaze I opened the box and told her, "The hands represent our eternal friendship. The crown represents my loyalty to you forever. And the heart is the love that I will always have for you. You are my best friend Isabella Marie Swan. I wrote this song for you. If there is ever a time where you cannot come through my window, let this lullaby remind you that I am always here for you. Happy Birthday Marie."_

_Happy tears began to fall from her chocolate eyes and she hugged me close. _

She'd worn that ring every day since then, but she didn't take it with her. I found it the second time I visited Charlie. I wanted to keep it, but as soon as I asked Charlie why it was on the floor he burst into tears and snatched it out of my hands. He apologized later, but never gave me the ring. Charlie did explain that Renee had removed it from Marie's hand and thrown it. Apparently a strangely calm Marie had gone into hysterics after that.

I missed her so much. I regretted the way I reacted to her, too. I wasn't angry with her. I wasn't even a little upset with her. I was embarrassed and mad at myself. How shitty of a person have I become that I couldn't even recognize her? I'd seen her at the club. I sat six inches away from her for God's sake and still didn't even have the slightest idea she was my best friend. All I saw when I looked at her that night was visions of tearing her clothes off and rutting her as she screamed in ecstasy beneath me.

Surprisingly, knowing who she really was now, those thoughts didn't stop. They'd actually started happening more often. The only difference was instead of feeling satisfied with dominating her, I felt a desperate craving to have her dominate me. I wanted to know every inch of her. I wanted to please her every desire. I've never cared that much about any sex partner before. I usually just get mine and get her off as quick as possible after that. And I never stuck around. I hadn't even had her yet, and my arms ached to hold her. I'd felt at peace when she was in my arms this afternoon, despite the reason of her being there.

With my now bandaged hand, I pulled the ring out of my pocket. I wanted her to have it back. I wanted to put it on her finger as I begged for her forgiveness. I wanted to tell her all of my sins and beg for her mercy on those as well. I suddenly felt dirty. I stripped off my shirt and went to start the shower. I set the ring on the bathroom counter and pulled off my jeans. I stepped in the tub and felt the sting of the hot water on my skin. The pressurized spray felt good on my tense muscles. I washed my hair quickly then scrubbed my skin to a pretty pink. I stood under the water listening to the slightly muffled sound of the lullaby until the water became tepid. Grabbing a towel, I wrapped it around my waste and walked back into my room drying my hair with another towel.

As I turned to toss the towel over the door, I heard a small "oh" come from behind me. I turned around and froze. The subject of my hell and my fantasy was sitting on my bed holding my journal.

"Hello, Edward."


	11. The InBetweens

Disclaimer: Stephenie Myer and associates own all Twilight characters/etc. I just want to play with them for a while and give them something new to do.

*****warningLEMONYwarning*****

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Chapter: 11: Giving In (Part 1)

(BPOV)

I stood outside the door listening to the beautiful harmony that I listened to every night that I had been away. I missed the comfort of his music. My CD was damaged on the trip home and it was much harder to sleep without it. As I listened to the final chords, I knocked on the door and held my breath as I waited for an answer. None ever came. I knocked again, but still no answer.

I knew he was in there, and not wanting to wait I grabbed the handle and slowly opened the door.

The room was empty.

I looked around and was mildly surprised that Edward's room hadn't changed much. The same golden plush carpeting covered the floor and the golden drapes also remained. The wall of books and music had been filled up and his twin bed had been replaced with a king four poster. The frame and headboard were wrought iron and braided into a beautiful ivy and rose display. The furniture had been re-arranged to allow room for a large over-stuffed black leather couch. The room was also surprisingly neat.

I figured I'd just wait for Edward to get back. As I continued to look around I saw what looked like a journal sitting on the bedside table. I knew I shouldn't, but my curiosity got the better of me and I grabbed the journal and plopped onto the bed to read it.

I the leather cover was a beautiful green, the same shade of Edward's eyes. His name was written in gold in the bottom right corner and the pages also had gold edges. I untied the gold string and opened to the first page. My mouth fell open as my eyes came upon a pencil sketch of me. Based on the length of my hair I recognized my seventh grade self. But how Edward knew exactly what I looked like two years after I left was beyond me. The next page answered that question.

_August 22, 2005_

_I saw Charlie again after school today. He gave me this journal along with another picture. He didn't cry this time, though it looked as though he still isn't sleeping. I think the only nights he does sleep are the nights when Marie calls him. I wish she would call me. I still have hope that she will come back soon._

_August 25, 2005_

_Charlie asked me to come over today. He gave me three more pictures and apologized to me, saying he was being selfish keeping them all to himself. I told him there was no reason to apologize, but he wouldn't hear it. Either way I'm elated to have more pictures of my beautiful Marie. _

_September 8, 2005_

_Only five days till Marie's birthday. Alice wants to make dinner and have Charlie over, but I told her no. Alice still doesn't know about the pictures or that I go see him. I still think that Charlie seeing Alice would be too much for his unstable state of mind. Charlie misses Marie as much as I do._

_September 13, 2005_

_Happy Birthday my Love. Wherever you are I hope you are safe and happy. I miss you so much…_

I was startled by a door opening at the other end of the room. Steam poured out of what I forgot was Edward's bathroom and out walked the most erotic sight I had ever seen.

Though most of him was blocked by the towel he was using to dry his hair, I could see the water that clung to the skin of his perfectly chiseled arms and stomach. Another towel hung deliciously low on his hips and I found myself unconsciously licking my lips. He took a few steps before he stopped and turned around. His back was almost as gorgeous as his front. His toned physique rippled as he threw the first towel over the door. My mind panicked as I realized he was about to turn around and catch me with his journal, and I sucked in my breath making a small sound.

Edward spun around immediately and seemed to freeze upon seeing me there.

"Hello, Edward," I said deciding not to loose control of the situation. I was here for a reason and I would leave after my mission was accomplished. Edward, however, didn't respond. I couldn't help my gaze travel along his half naked form. His skin, normally pale, was slightly pink from the heat of the shower and his muscles were clearly defined as they trembled from his shock.

I tried again. "You need some help getting dressed or should I go ahead and strip down with you?" I put on my best come hither look and hoped I got through his shock. I didn't think I could touch him without trying to jump him in the process. It worked.

"What the hell are you doing with my journal?" He looked terrified.

"I asked you first," I said, trying to lighten the mood.

"Huh? You asked me something?" His face said his confusion was real.

I decided to see how far this could go. I know he's angry at me, but anger can quickly become sexual desire and I might burst if I don't touch him soon. I smirked at him. "I said, do you need some help getting dressed, or should I just strip down with you?" The play of emotion on his face was amusing, but the unmistakable darkening of his perfect emerald eyes had my panties soaked. This was going to be fun.

His body loosened as he slowly sauntered towards me with my favorite crooked grin on his face. "Why Miss Swan, is that an invitation?" My breath caught and I realized that I was possibly in over my head. My body was vibrating with anticipation and my temperature seemed to be rising with every step he took. Trying my best to maintain composure I replied, "It could be. Would you like to find out?" I didn't have a plan at all and I was hoping he would let up soon. "Maybe. What do you want?" And there's my out.

"I want my ring back Edward," I replied forcefully.

He stopped about six inches away from me and my breath caught. "Is that so, Miss Swan? And what do I get in return?" If it was possible, his eyes darkened even more as he reached out and touched my bottom lip. My lip tingled where he'd touched it and my skin was practically humming. I felt the most intense ache in my core. I couldn't hold back any more. My fingertips ran up his arms to his shoulders and I grasped a hold of the solid muscle. I pulled my self up to my tiptoes and whispered in his ear, "You can have whatever," I kissed his neck, "you," I nipped at his jugular where I could see his pulse pounding, "want," I licked the lobe of his ear and blew a cool breath on the damp skin. I felt the goose bumps rise on his arms before I was suddenly falling back on the bed with Edward's hands tightly holding my hips. We hit the bed and the heat from his skin immediately warmed my own. The weight of his body felt perfectly arousing. His mouth crashed into mine and I lost all control. All I could think about was the way his lips felt on mine. His tongue was soon begging for entrance into my mouth. I complied willingly and our tongues began to dance. His breath was warm and tasted of cinnamon. His hands danced over every part of my body he could reach, leaving a trail of fire everywhere he touched. One of my hands locked in his hair and held his face to mine, while the other hand grasped his back trying desperately to pull him into me. His hands soon found the hem of my shirt and they began a torturously slow ascent up my stomach towards my breasts. He lightly touched every inch of my skin until he finally reached my bra. He pulled his head away and looked me in the eyes, silently asking permission to keep going.

I knew I should stop this. I knew I should tell him no.

But I didn't.

My need for him over-powered every other thought in my head and I smiled at him. I then nodded before pulling his lips back to mine. As Edward's cool fingers found there way under my bra, my breathing got heavier. When they found my already rock hard nipple, I moaned unwillingly. He caressed the sensitive pebble and gently squeezed my breast before he suddenly pinched my now uber-sensitive nipple. My hips bucked automatically, and I moaned even louder. The pressure of his thigh on my clit was fantastic. He pinched again and my hips bucked again, though I practically screamed this time. He'd lowered his leg and the added pressure from being closer was almost enough to send me over the edge. My hand slid down from Edward's back to his towel-covered ass and I pulled him flush against me. I ground myself on his thigh, my body begging for release. His mouth left mine and began a slow fiery trail down my jaw and neck. I couldn't take it much longer. My body was screaming for him. Nothing mattered anymore, other than I wanted him to…

"Take me, Edward."

**A/N: That's it for this chapter :D So I decided that as soon as I get 10 reviews I'll post the next chapter. Otherwise it won't be up till Thursday night. Let me know if there is any confusion on that timeline by the way.**

**Xs and Os**

**IAC**


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